The Most Important Encounter in Life

Dedicated to the moments in my life that are relevant and impactful enough to have harnessed positive change in my actions or way of thinking.

“The most important encounter in life is the encounter with oneself.”
–Yves Saint Laurent

Yves Saint Laurent, Paris, September 1971. Image courtesy of Sotheby’s

I first heard this quote in L’Amour fou (2010), a beautiful and interesting documentary about the iconic designer’s romantic relationship with his partner Pierre Berge. Such great talent backed and supported by a friend who wouldn’t leave his side despite any downfall–a true friend and true love. It was only after swooning over the film and romanticizing their story that I realized I had been pursuing the conquest of true love the wrong way entirely.

That was September of 2012. At the time, I was 10 months deep into lust a rocky living situation with the first weirdo who gave me any attention after a shitty breakup. That shitty breakup is in reference to a very immature and unhealthy 5 year relationship that consumed the majority of my “adulthood” up until that point. Needless to say, I was an extremely insecure, mindless and depressed little girl to immediately jump from one relationship to that next one. Yeesh.

The exact moment I heard the quote, I saw the words come to life floating out of the TV speakers and suspended in the air in front of my face. I paused the film and I wrote what I just heard on a blue Post-it note to materialize the experience. I read the words over and over again. At that moment, it was so apparent that my efforts to salvage my first unhealthy relationship through my new unhealthy relationship were just misguided attempts at the pursuit of my own happiness. Seeing and hearing these words made me realize that all this time, all I really wanted was to encounter myself. More so, that I needed to encounter myself to discover true love and true happiness. So I did. From that moment on.

I can revisit other times in my life to pinpoint the exact time and place when other epiphanies may have occurred, but nothing is as significant as hearing these words. These words sparked a radical journey of self-growth and enlightenment. I learned to build upon each revelation to follow with research and experiments as I am naturally hungry for knowledge and truth. This knowledge would ultimately provide comfort and strength in the wake of life’s heartbreaks, hushing the drone of internal conflict, anxiety and fear in me to enable myself to continue moving forward as an independent being.

The answers are there inside of you. You just have to ask the right questions and allow yourself to be encountered by you.

x.G